Anush A. John Podcast
Anush A. John Podcast
The Seamless Tunic - On Guilt and Shame
Many people suffer from crippling guilt and shame. What is the difference between the two and is there a way out of it?
https://www.anushjohn.com/post/the-seamless-tunic
Photo by Gage Walker on Unsplash
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Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 2:Good morning. Matthew Perry starred in the hit show Friends from 1994 to 2004. In 2022, he wrote a memoir Friends Lovers and the Big, terrible Thing. He was open about his addictions and the toll it took on his life and relationships. Heather Haverleski from the New York Times, in November 2023, wrote a review of the book.
Speaker 2:She said shame is a dominant theme in Mr Perry's memoir and in his life. He seems to adore his close friends and those around him in the hope that they might someday forgive him for what he put them through because of his addictions. Yet the one person Mr Perry cannot forgive is himself. His life seemed to have become a manifestation of his shame, a guilty burden that he couldn't live up to. And then she writes these words shame has the power to poison all the supposed benefits of success. It turns money into self-destruction, fame into a lifelong curse and love into fear of being left behind once you're recognized as the awful, lazy, selfish person you presume yourself to be.
Speaker 2:This morning, in a sermon entitled the Seamless Tunic, I want to look at the issue of guilt and shame. This is going to be a very difficult sermon to listen to, but I think it'll be a liberating sermon because, unless we put our finger on what the problem exactly is, we may not be able to find relief. I'm going to actually peel back layers of our facade and come right down to the core of who we are. Our text for this morning is John, chapter 19 and verses 23 and 24. If you have your Bibles, please turn to John chapter 19. If you have a phone, you're welcome to turn to John chapter 19 and you can keep your Bible open to this passage and we will look at it. John chapter 19, 23 to 24.
Speaker 2:Let me tell you the context of the story. The crucifixion was just over. The Roman authorities, at the behest of the Jewish leaders, allowed for Jesus to die by crucifixion, and so the Roman soldiers took Jesus outside the city gates and they crucified him. Four soldiers crucified him and once they crucified him, they were dividing up the spoils. Let's read verses 23 and 24. When the soldiers had crucified Jesus, they took his garments and divided them into four parts, one part for each soldier. Also his tunic. But the tunic was seamless, woven in one piece from top to bottom. So they said to one another let us not tear it, but cast lots for it to see whose it shall be. This was to fulfill the Scripture, which says they divided my garments among them and for my clothing they cast lots.
Speaker 2:I've divided the sermon into three parts. In the first part, we will look at the question what is shame. In the second part, we will look at three different kinds of shame and in the third part, we will look at a remedy for shame. First, let's look at the question what is shame? Shame is an uncomfortable feeling of humiliation caused by an awareness of wrongdoing, hurt, ego or guilt. Now, if I divide the world into three broad categories based on this, the Middle Eastern region would be a fear and honor based culture. The Middle Eastern region, the Western culture, would be a guilt based culture, loosely. And the Eastern cultures, loosely, would be a shame based culture. So you may ask me well, what is the difference between guilt and shame?
Speaker 2:Guilt says I did something wrong, shame says I am something wrong. Guilt is about doing, shame is about being, and there's a great example that Paul gives in Romans, chapter 7, that chapter where Paul expresses his complete inability to do what is right and his constant proclivity to continue to do that which is wrong. He says this in Romans, chapter 7 and verse 19,. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want. This is what I keep on doing, and this is an example of guilt. He's talking about doing and not doing. It is about doing, and five verses later, in verse 24, he says wretched man that I am, who will deliver me from this body of death? You see, that is shame. He goes from saying I am not doing what I'm supposed to do and I do what I'm not supposed to do to saying I am a wretched man. He goes from doing to being. It's as if guilt is a first step after sin and then, soon after that, shame follows.
Speaker 2:In the second part of the sermon I want to look at kinds of shame. There may be many different kinds of shame, but these were the only three that I could come up with. I want to talk about three different kinds of shame and the responses that we can have to these three different kinds of shame. The first one is what I will call the shame of identity. The shame of identity Shame in who you are. So you may have shame because of your family, background. Shame because of your personality. Shame because of your looks. Shame because of, maybe, a congenital disease. You had shame because of a genetic condition that you have, things that you have absolutely no control over.
Speaker 2:The shame of identity. If you have teenagers, it may be tempting to think that they have no shame at all, but it's not completely true. Teenagers may be ashamed of their parents, ashamed of their economic status, ashamed of their background, ashamed of their heritage, and that is the shame of identity. On the Christian side, being ashamed of Jesus is a shame of identity. Being ashamed of being a Christian is a shame of identity. Paul says in Romans, chapter 1, verse 16, for I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is a power of God for salvation to everyone who believes. He's talking about the shame of identity.
Speaker 2:What is the response that we can have to the shame of identity? Well, there's nothing you can do. If I have a certain personality or a genetic condition, the best I can do is work with it. I cannot change my identity in that sense because I am born with it. There's no point in having shame. The best we can do is work with it. The second kind of shame I'll call it the shame of activity Shame in what you have done. So this also includes the shame of inactivity, where you're supposed to do something and you didn't do it and therefore you have shame. So it's shame of activity or inactivity.
Speaker 2:Now, shame is a natural outflow of sin. In Ezra, chapter 9, verse 6, ezra says I am ashamed and blushed to lift my face to you, my God, for our iniquities have risen higher than our heads and our guilt has mounted up to the heavens. You see, in this one verse there are all three components. He talks about his iniquity, which is sin, and he talks about guilt that comes out of doing sin, and then he talks about shame that comes out of that guilt. In fact, shame was one of the main responses that Adam and Eve had when they sinned in the Garden of Eden.
Speaker 2:In the Bible, shame. This kind of shame is normally caused by a public exposure of sin. But, as we know, we can all have personal shame from things that we have done long ago and we can all look back at certain things that we have done, many of which are secret and if they came to light it would result in a significant public humiliation. And even if nobody else knows about it, we still carry that guilt and that shame. What is the response that we can have to the shame of activity Sin is connected to shame and sorrow so that we can turn away from sin, so that we can repent and confess and turn closer to God. In Jeremiah, chapter 6, verse 15, god says Were they ashamed when they committed abomination? No, they were not at all ashamed. They did not know how to blush. Therefore, they shall fall among those who fall. God wants us to use the shame of activity to say no to sin, to confess, to repent and to turn to God.
Speaker 2:In his 1989 book Crime, shame and Reintegration, australian criminologist John Bradwate puts forward a theoretical model for dealing with crime at the individual and the community levels. He uses sociological theories of crime to explain why some societies have higher levels of crime and why certain people are more likely to commit crime and how communities can deal with crime. And the thesis of his argument is that higher crime is seen in communities where crime is not shamed. And he says that if criminals are made to feel ashamed of their crimes and they will be able to recover and otherwise they will continue their criminal activities without remorse. So the proper response to the shame of activity is to turn away from sin because of that shame and turn toward God.
Speaker 2:Third, I'll call it the shame of passivity Shame in what was done to you. You didn't do it. Something was done to you. You were a passive recipient of the sin of the deed.
Speaker 2:In the late 1970s, annika Lucas was just a six-year-old when she was sold into a Belgian aristocratic ring where boys and girls suffered horrific abuses. She endured this for five years and, through a series of events, she finally managed to escape and come to New York City. And in 2014, she started an organization to help those children who were similarly stuck into these kinds of rings and who were vilified and falsely accused and incarcerated. And she said of her time of abuse as a child. And she writes I was a shy girl with few friends at school and at home no one cared for me. I received more attention in the network. It felt good to be viewed as the most perfectly beautiful object by powerful people with high standards in taste. This was the only positive in my life and I clung to it as my only raft to keep me from drowning in a sea of shame and self-loathing.
Speaker 2:You see, ladies and gentlemen, she had the shame of passivity. She didn't do anything, but she was suffering in shame because sin was done to her. Sin always causes shame. If it's something that you did, there is shame. If something that is done to you, you still feel shame. So what is the response that we can have to the shame of passivity? Well, you didn't do it, you cannot change it and it's not your fault. In the 1997 drama Good Will Hunting. Will Hunting is a janitor at MIT, played by Matt Damon, with genius level intellect, but he was an orphan who came from a very troubled and very abusive background. As a result, he struggles with emotional issues and relationship and psychological issues. Dr Sean McGuire, played by Robin Williams, is a therapist and professor who takes on the challenge of helping Will confront the interaction between the two of them. Good.
Speaker 1:It's not your fault. Look at me, son. It's not your fault. I know it's not your fault. I know it's not your fault. I know it's not your fault. Alright, it's not your fault. It's not your fault. It's not your fault. It's not you. It's not your fault. It's not your fault. Oh my God.
Speaker 2:There may be people here who are listening to me, who have suffered abuse and are recipients of sin. I'm going to tell you this morning it's not your fault, but that by itself is not enough to take away the shame. So we come to the third part of this sermon, the remedy for shame. What is the remedy for shame? Heather Haveri-Leskey, from the New York Times, in concluding the story of Matthew Perry, writes these words what is the cure for all his shame? Mercifully, mr Perry seems to figure it out eventually to forgive yourself. I wish it were that simple and I wish it were easy to forgive oneself, and I wish forgiving oneself would take care of all three aspects of shame. But this morning I want to tell you that Jesus wants to set you free from your guilt and your shame, and he does it in three ways. He took on the shame of identity when he chose to become a human being. In Philippians, chapter 2, verses 5 through 8, it says Christ Jesus who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men and being found in human form. He humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Jesus took on the shame of identity when he chose to become a human being and he identified himself as a human being.
Speaker 2:A four-year-old girl in Hot Springs, arkansas, lived with her mother, jennifer Denin, and her mother's friend, clarence Reed, but the two of them did not treat this little girl well when officers found her. This little girl had lots of evidence of physical abuse and improper behavior done against her. But that was not the only startling thing. When a social worker asked her what is your name, this little four-year-old girl answered idiot. You see, ladies and gentlemen, the only word she heard addressed to her. She thought that was her name.
Speaker 2:We may carry around all kinds of names, maybe names people have told you over time. You may carry around a name that you heard 30 years ago and you can't get rid of it. We may give ourselves certain names and we think those names apply to us. But in 2 Corinthians, chapter 5, verse 17, paul says Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away, behold, the new has come. And in John, chapter 1, verse 12,. But to all who did receive him. Who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God. Your name is not whatever you have called yourself or whatever somebody else has called you. Your name is child of God. If God is the greatest being that exists, then being a child of God is the greatest privilege that one can have.
Speaker 2:Jesus took on the shame of identity. He makes us a new creation, he changes our name and he changes our identity. Secondly, jesus took on the shame of activity on our behalf. Even though he was without sin, he was counted as a sinner and he felt the shame of sin. In 2 Corinthians, chapter 5, verse 21, paul says For our sake, god made him to be sin, who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. Jesus had no sin, but he took our sin. And when he took our sin, he took on the shame of activity even though he did no sin.
Speaker 2:James Richardson did not want to return to his hometown of Arcadia, florida, and understandably so. He needed a long time to heal because, you see, in 1967, he was convicted of poisoning his seven children and he spent 21 years locked up, but it was facilitated by the prosecution and the authorities. Several years after he was put in prison, a woman who was the babysitter of his seven children confessed to the crime. She had laced their food with pesticide. And so after 21 years, james Richardson was finally released. But he had suffered. He had paid for crimes that he did not commit and he suffered the shame of activity when he did not commit a crime. Like James Richardson, jesus took on the shame of activity for sins he did not commit and therefore he can free us from the shame of activity. Thirdly, jesus took on the shame of passivity when he was abused and did not respond to it. Jesus took on the shame of passivity when he was abused and did not respond to it.
Speaker 2:Let's come back to the original verse that we read at the beginning In John, chapter 19 and verse 23,. We read this when the soldiers had crucified Jesus, they took his garments and divided them into four parts, one part for each soldier, also his tunic, but the tunic was seamless, woven in one piece from top to bottom. There were four soldiers that crucified him. These were Roman soldiers and they didn't care that they were crucifying the creator of the universe. For them it was just another prisoner, and so after they crucified him, they had four articles of clothing. There was Jesus' headgear, there was his outer cloak, there was his girdle or the belt, and his shoes. These four things were kind of equal in value. So the four soldiers divided these four things amongst themselves. But then there was a fifth article of clothing, which was the seamless tunic. How would they divide that up?
Speaker 2:According to Jewish custom, according to the Talmudic tax rate, yomah, on the day of atonement especially, the high priest, was supposed to wear this dress that was not sewn but woven when he came to perform a sacrifice. So here was Jesus as the high priest performing the sacrifice, dressed like a Jewish priest. But there was one problem, wasn't there? Jesus was not wearing the undergarment.
Speaker 2:Crucifixion was undoubtedly the most shameful way to die in the first century. In Hebrews, chapter 12, verse 2, it reads Looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who, for the joy that was set before him, endured the cross, despising the shame. To own a leader who was crucified was to own the shame of the crucifixion, and so the Jews could not fathom a Messiah who was crucified. In 1 Corinthians up to 1, verse 23, paul says but we preach Christ crucified, a stumbling block to the Jews. Archaeologists have uncovered an engraving from the ancient Roman era and in this engraving there is a man who was crucified, but that man has the head of a donkey, and a little beyond him is another man bowing down in worship. And then at the bottom it says Alex Aminos worships God. This was obviously one slave making fun of another slave because who was a Christian? Because at that time crucifixion was the most shameful way to die.
Speaker 2:Ladies and gentlemen, jesus took on the shame of identity. He took on the shame of activity. He took on the shame of passivity so that he can set us all free. He took our shame and the seamless tunic shows that he took our shame to the fullest extent. I'm going to ask for a response to this sermon.
Speaker 2:If there's anyone here who has suffered shame or is suffering shame and wants to be set free, you can stand up and we will pray together. If you have suffered from the shame of identity, you can stand up, we will pray together. If you've suffered from the shame of activity, you can stand up and we'll pray together. If you've suffered from the shame of passivity things you did not do but something happened to you you can also stand up and we will pray together. Also, if there's anyone who's never invited Jesus into your life, you can also stand up and we will pray together. If there's anyone here who's never invited Jesus into your life, you can pray this prayer after me. It's not a magical prayer, but if it's a prayer that you mean, that comes from the bottom of your heart, god will answer it and fulfill the promise. You can pray something like this I am a sinner and I cannot save myself, and I have the shame of activity.
Speaker 2:My identity is as a sinner and I have the shame of identity. Thank you for your death. Thank you for your shameful death, by which you took my sin and my shame. I ask you to come into my life and make me complete. Thank you for your resurrection that gives me hope for eternal life.
Speaker 2:Heavenly Father, I pray for the rest of us that are standing up. We've suffered all kinds of shame. I pray for those of us who have suffered the shame of activity. Help us to use that shame to turn away from sin, to confess and repent and turn toward God. I pray for those of us who suffer the shame of identity. Thank you that you took on yourself the identity of a human being. Thank you that you took shame upon yourself to set me free. I pray for those who suffer the shame of passivity. There's nothing that they did wrong. There's nothing that we did wrong, but we suffer in shame silently. I pray, lord, that in the name of Jesus, you would set us free. Thank you for the shame that you have taken so that we can be free. I pray that each person standing up would be set free from the shame that they carry around. I pray that they would live in the freedom that you want us to live in. In Jesus' name, I pray amen.